Ten Reasons Why I Love America

  

         This weekend we celebrate the 238th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence. As we try not to set ourselves aflame, we think about our beloved home and ponder its magnificence.

          Here are ten reasons why I love my country. I hope you enjoy them.

1.       Every kind of weather and every kind of environment. Like 100-degree heat? We got that. Like below-zero temps? We got that. Purple mountain’s majesties? Check.  Fruited plains? Check. Urban blight? Check. Suburban sprawl? Check. I’m losing momentum here...

2.       We’ll eat anything. From Pink Slime to High Fructose Corn Syrup, the lines at the fast food drive-throughs block the highway. And health-food adherents - don’t laugh. You’re snacking on curry-flavored kale chips while you read this, aren’t you? 

3.       Full Faith and Credit. This really is one of the genius bits of the constitution that binds the Republic together. Let’s suppose the governor of Colorado is still pissed at Washington over the Super Bowl. He passes a law saying a Washington state driver’s license is not valid to drive in his state. Or it’s outright illegal for a Washingtonian to enter the Colorado border. Well, he can’t do it. Every state has to honor the laws and judgments of other states.  Unless you’re gay and want to get married...

4.       The Interstate System. Oh you might be stuck behind a semi for five miles or so until he decides to pull over (they do that on purpose, you know), and the Autobahn is better, and it’s not the if-it-doesn’t-go-by-it-then-it’s-not-worth-seeing of the London Tube (actually a bit of the opposite) ... um, so why is this on my list?

5.       Diversity. If America is known for one thing it is our vast diversity. Culturally, philosophically ... ethically ... There are some citizens who enjoy being so diverse that they want everyone to be just like them! Just. Like. Them.

6.       Someone, somewhere, shares your views. This ties into the previous point. If you think Masons created Bigfoot as a way to spy on loggers, there is probably someone out there that believes it too. The internet has helped bring these folks together. So if you think the moon landing is fake and/or professional wrestling is real you are not alone. No matter how crazy and fact-less; if there are enough of you, you can form your own political party. Some have already.

7.       We hate soccer. It’s bad enough we love to watch millionaires hit a ball with a stick. It’s bad enough we love to watch millionaires touch the skin of a pig on the Sabbath. But kicking a ball down a seemingly three-mile-long-grassy field without touching it? No way!

8.       Eternal and Unshakeable Optimism. Only an American considers purchasing a weekly lottery ticket as the sole source of a comprehensive retirement plan...

9.       We have no long-term memory, and our short-term memory is pretty crappy, too. Every four years we throw out the bums in charge of the country. For over two hundred years the newly-elected leaders were the same set of bums we threw out four years before. And that’s just politics - I could do a whole blog on Hollywood stars’ screw-ups and redemptions {kaff-Mel-Gibson-kaff}

10.     The Grand Canyon. All kidding aside, you have to admit, it’s pretty cool.

Have a happy 4th!

Original material copyright 2104 Michael Curry