Wednesday, October 9, 2013




CELEBRATING JOHN LENNON’S BIRTHDAY FAQs
               Today is October 9th, John (and Sean) Lennon’s birthday. I’ve been celebrating this most holy of days for many decades now and am asked many questions as to the proper way to celebrate it. I have compiled a list of questions accumulated through the years.

How should we decorate the house?
               I deck the halls with old album covers, photographs and sketches. You can find these cheaply enough at antique stores and ebay. Sketches can be found all through the internet – and you can print them out and use them for free as long as you don’t try to sell it yourself. You should at least print or type the name of the artist on the drawings.
               I dedicate a space in the house for John’s own drawings.
               I line the fireplace mantel with Beatle and Lennon paraphernalia (dolls, figurines, etc.). 
               Over the years I have collected Beatle ornaments released during that winter birth-of-Mithras holiday and put them on my Lennon tree.

Speaking of the Lennon tree: spruce or pine?
               Who cares?

Do you do anything special on Lennon’s Birthday Eve?
               Other than preparing for the following day, there are no special celebrations for Lennon’s Birthday Eve. Now that I am a father, though, I can’t wait to help my daughter set a Whopper and a Brandy Alexander in front of the fireplace to await Lennon’s midnight arrival!

What kind of presents do you give?
               Anything at all! But I like to stay with the reason for the season – Julian Lennon has a new album out. So does Yoko. I’m hoping to get something saying “Beatles Live at the BBC Volume 2” has been pre-ordered! Lithographs and t-shirts are always available.

What do you do during the day itself?
               After presents we do what Lennon loved doing during his house-husband days – plopping in front of the TV. We usually run “2001 A Space Odyssey” a few times. John said it should be played in a temple 24-hours per day.
               We bake bread just like Lennon did and eat a nice macrobiotic lunch – rice and fish mostly. For dinner we go to or bring home Whoppers from Burger King. He loved Whoppers. He also loved chocolate bars. So we keep plenty of those on hand.

When playing music to celebrate, is it okay to listen to … um … solo McCartney?
               We’re not orthodox Lennians, so solo McCartney, Starr and Harrison are played at our house. We even play albums Lennon produced or wrote for and other artists doing his songs.
               Be careful to respect the beliefs of others though, if you bring Harry Nilsson’s “Pussycats” to a friend’s house and he asks you to keep it in the car, please do so. Probably for the best regardless…

What about the Lennon sisters?
               Don’t be a smart ass.

But … Yoko? I mean … Yoko!?
               Oh once and for all, get over it for god’s sake. Did you know she has had some huge hit singles on the dance charts over the years? It’s true! And Julian has made a name for himself more as a photographer than a musician!

What do you do the next day?
               That is for taking down the tree and decorations. A melancholy time. BUT if you use that time to also put up your Halloween decorations, you can get two birds with one stone, so to speak. Remember the old adage – “when life gives you lemons, eat the damn lemons!”

Are these really questions frequently asked by others or did you just pull them out of your ass?
               Shut up.

***

               So there you have it, have a wonderful John Lennon’s Birthday! And may I add it is about time the government closed their offices today in honor of this wonderful musician and humanitarian.
               What shut down? I’ve spent the last week decorating the house; I ain’t got time for the news … Give Peace a Chance! Imagine There’s No Heaven! Ah b’wakawa pousse pousse!

Copyright 2013 Michael G Curry

Friday, September 20, 2013

We’re Off to See the Wiggles…
A review of the Wiggles US Tour 2013


                September 18, 2013 my wife, daughter and I saw the Wiggles in concert at the Peabody Opera House in St. Louis, Missouri.
                I retired from concert-going in 1992. My hearing was shot even then and with a screeching baby the tinnitus has not gotten better. Going to concerts would rip apart what was left of my hearing, as well as rip apart what was left of my bank account. Five hundred bucks to see the Eagles?  I can hear them for free every time I turn on the radio. Every. Time.  Not even if they performed in my front room.  I came out of retirement three times – once to see Ringo Starr do a free concert under the St. Louis Arch on July 4th in the late nineties (a Beatle for free? Yes, I will come out of retirement to see a Beatle for free…), once last year to see Rik Emmett ($10.00, yes, I will come out of retirement to hear Triumph’s Greatest Hits live for $10.00), and now to take my daughter to see the Wiggles.
                This was the tour supporting their DVD “Taking Off” and was the first “solo” tour of the new Wiggles. Founders Jeff, Murray and Greg retired. Anthony continued with three new Wiggles – although all of them were with the franchise either playing secondary characters or back-up singers and dancers.
                The new members were Simon, Lachy and Emma. It was quite a controversy when the new Wiggles took over, but most of their world-wide fans wished them the best when the shock wore off.
                My daughter discovered the Wiggles early in 2013. To her mind, Emma is as much a Wiggle as Greg. Or Sam for that matter. She adores Emma. She is her favorite. So of course she wanted to dress like Emma for the show. Easy enough – she already has a black skirt, black leggings and a yellow shirt.
                She looks good in yellow, with her dark skin. My wife has always been happy about that.
                I was afraid I would be the only adult male at the show. I wasn’t. I was afraid I would be the oldest father there. Surprisingly, I wasn’t. In fact, most of the fathers I saw there were about my age. Some of them had children younger than mine (this concert was her fourth birthday present).
                I’m not sure what to make of that. I am afraid of generalizing by saying younger fathers wouldn’t bother going to such a thing … but I have no facts to support my theory.  Would an older father tolerate these things easier than a younger one? “See the Wiggles!?  And miss Kill Division playing across town!?”
                The stage cast consisted of Anthony, Emma, Lachy, Simon and Paul Paddick as Captain Feathersword along with three back-up dancers and singers. They would take turns as the costumed characters of the franchise: Dorothy the Dinosaur, Wags the Dog and Henry the Octopus.
                They did an excellent job of keeping the pace going so that you never noticed who was missing from the stage when the costumed characters were on.  Paddick does the voice for Henry the Octopus. I didn’t notice if he was on-stage or off-stage while Henry was “singing” his song. He may have been IN the costume for all I know.
                The set was sparse considering the concert videos you can purchase or watch on You Tube. This isn’t Madison Square Garden or a packed amphitheater in Australia. This was the last few weeks of a two-month North American tour playing smaller venues. The following night they were in Nashville, then Detroit, then Chicago for two shows on Saturday. The following week they played two matinees in New York. Remember this was the same franchise that sold out twelve shows in a row at Madison Square Garden…
                So there were no elaborate sets depicting Wiggle Town or the Wiggle House, no 12-foot blow-up Wiggles, no working Big Red Car. The backdrop was a replica of the cover of their new DVD that set behind a drum kit and keyboards and guitars. The only props were a cardboard castle set in front of a tall stand as well as a camel and airplane costume – each worn by Captain Feathersword.

                Sparse settings made sense, though. Who knows how successful this tour would be? Who wants to spend millions on setting up, tearing down and moving elaborate sets for half-filled stadiums?
                They needn’t have worried. They went for smaller venues and all of them are sold out. I checked the tour venues online and there were only forty or so seats remaining in each venue for the rest of the tour. All but forty seats available for a 3,500-seat venue (at least for Peabody)? I’d say that’s pretty good.
                I checked and checked online for a set list for this tour with little luck. The only review I found was on a blog of a Detroit mother. I thought I would do a set list and review the show. By the time this post gets to most of my readers the tour will be over, of course. But perhaps if they tour next year (or more likely the year after) this will give parents who know nothing of Wiggle concerts a taste of what to expect.
                I spent most of my time talking photos, writing down names of songs and smiling at a squealing and giggling three-year-old. Near the end of the show, my daughter and two others were on the far left aisle dancing. I had to warn my daughter not to flail around too much for fear of hurting the other children.
                The mother of one of the little girls asked her to stay near. She kept her arm around her daughter at first. She didn’t want her daughter dancing with other girls while some tall, fat, bald man took their pictures. But she soon relented.
                During the last song my daughter finally took that tumble I warned her about. She cried and I picked her up. It was by now 7:50 and she was very tired. As the Wiggles waved goodbye I told her they were leaving and to say goodbye. She stopped crying immediately - as children of that age do - and shouted goodbye to everyone on stage.
                Before and after the concert we took pics of the stage. An usher very kindly took a picture of the three of us in front of the stage when the show was done. Although sold-out, by 7:30 quite a few of the ticket-holders left with their sleepy charges. We ended up with only a few people in our Orchestra Left section.
                This allowed me to stand and take plenty of photos of the performers. Earlier I was afraid to stand too long for fear of blocking the people behind me. One of the few younger fathers sat two rows ahead of me. He wore his hair in high spikes, which blocked most of my camera’s flash. Near the end, as there was no one behind me; I could stand and hold the camera as high as I wished - his light-absorbing head no longer a problem.
                We had great seats. Well, Peabody Opera House (I still think of it as Keil Opera House – I saw Clapton there in the 1980s) does not have a bad seat; but we had particularly good ones. We were seventh row to the far left. The front rows taper outward. This means there were three rows between us and the far stage left. 

                 Lachey spent some time on our side of the audience. He gave my daughter a high-five!
                 When Anthony stood on the end of the stage he was ten feet in front of us. He waved back at Abby and me. Yes, I was waving at Anthony – I am one of the few surviving Cockroaches fans in the States…
                The Wiggles and their troupe sang and played their instruments live.  In most of the concert footage they look like they are lip-synching. With all their dancing and activity that isn’t surprising. And this is the Wiggles, not Milli Vanilli – who cares?
                But we were close enough to tell. They sang live. And their instruments were live, too. Good for them.
                This despite the fact that there was LOTS of dancing going on. Every song had its own moves. The children (and most adults) followed along faithfully. Captain Feathersword played bass, Anthony played acoustic and electric guitar and drums, Emma played drums, Lachy played keyboards and the glockenspiel. And even the dancers played percussion, drums and guitar as needed.
                Speaking of the dancers... They were introduced at the end, but by then I was dancing with and photographing my daughter.  Looking online doesn’t help identify the three dancers.  The beautiful Catarina Mete has a bit of a following and hers is the only name I can find. The other lady is Lauren –  I hope the spelling is correct.  She was named in a concert segment on the Wiggles’ new TV show.  The male dancer, Nick, looks a lot like Lachy; so much so my daughter thought it WAS Lachy when he came on stage.  
                He was the first one on stage. He gave us a safety lecture much like the stewardi on a plane – find your exits, watch your children, that sort of thing.  He also told us to tweet what we think about the show and they will later read their favorites during the concert.
                So spend the concert staring at your phone? Um, no. I disagree – My tweet would read, “I would love to watch the show but I haven’t seen a minute of it because I am trying to tweet.”  Don’t text and wiggle.  
                Like I’m one to talk. I spent the concert taking photos and jotting down the playlist.
                Speaking of which:

Rock a Bye Your Bear
Can You Point Your Finger and Do the Twist
Quack Quack
(My Sharona - spoof)
Monkey Dance
Here Comes a Bear
D*O*R*O*T*H*Y
Romp Pomp a Chomp
(The Rose - spoof)
Joannie Works With One Hammer
Numbers Rhumba
Shakey Shakey
Fruit Salad
Peanut Butter
Toot Toot Chugga Chugga
(If I Could Turn Back Time – spoof)
Captain’s Magic Buttons
Five Little Joeys
Emma (With a Bow in Her Hair)
We’re Dancing With Wags the Dog
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Henry’s Dance
Simon Says
There Was a Princess Long Ago
I’ve Got My Glasses On
Shimmy Shake
Hot Potato
Do the Propeller

                Oh, and I tried keeping a “Gee C’mon” tab, but I lost track among the other things going on. I know Anthony said it two or three times.
                Emma left the stage for a time to say hello to the fans. Doing my best stage-mother imitation, I grabbed my daughter and walked with her to the center aisle and plopped her in front of Emma. 


                "You're wearing a yellow skivvie and a black skirt just like mine!" Emma said. My daughter was giddy! She met Emma! Her favorite! I was so happy for her!
                I knew my daughter was getting tired when she kept asking, “Is it over?” after ever song during the second half.  But not in a whiney way, just like asking if a TV show is over. She had a ball. She squealed with delight and laughed and giggled when she recognized a song. By the end, though, she was happy just to dance along with the songs in the side aisles. It made both of us so tremendously happy to see her so happy.
                There were enough nods to the adults to keep us smiling, too. Captain Feathersword did a funny Cher imitation.  Anthony made a Lady Gaga reference. He said, “We used to say Miley Cyrus but we changed that a few weeks ago.” It was funny but I’ll bet he was also very serious. There were comical homages to the songs “The Rose” and “My Sharona”.
                We might get one last Wiggles concert out of our daughter before she gets too old for that sort of thing and starts dragging us to the boy band dujour.  But I’ll cherish the look on her face and the sound of her laugh. Thanks Wiggles!
Copyright 2013 Michael G Curry


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The Business of Bankruptcy
                On September 9, 2013 I spoke at the monthly meeting of the Mount Vernon Business Women’s Club about bankruptcy.
                The person who invited me, Marilyn, was my wife’s boss for many years before she retired and is also a good friend of both of us. I said I would be happy to speak at their meeting. Considering the audience, we decided the topic should be about how bankruptcies affect businesses.
                Here is a transcript of the speech from my notes with details filled in and some details changed for a wider audience (“In my district courthouse” replaces “In Benton”, that sort of thing). I hope you enjoy it.
***
                As a business owner, bankruptcy can affect you in three ways: as a creditor, as an employer and as a debtor.
                Of the different types of bankruptcies available, there are three that you would see – the Chapter 7, Chapter 13 and Chapter 11.
                They are called that because the Bankruptcy Code is just like any book – it is divided into chapters, 1 … 2 … 3. And the Chapters that involve individuals are 7 & 13. Why 7 & 13 and not 1 & 2, who knows, that’s just the way it is laid out.
                Chapter 7 is what most people think of as bankruptcy – a liquidation of all unsecured debt. These are credit cards, medical bills, back utilities, book clubs, record clubs, finance company loans, bad checks, and cash advance businesses. Unless you’re in the business of giving loans to customers in exchange for collateral, debt owed to your business is unsecured debt.
                Chapter 7 lasts for 90 days. From the time of filing until it is finished, 90 days pass.  At the end of those 90 days the debtor receives a discharge and all of those unsecured debts are discharged.
                As for secured debts – where I have a lien on my house or car – I can either reaffirm with the bank and keep paying for the collateral or surrender the collateral. Banks usually will allow me to do that if I am current.
                Some bills survive bankruptcy – taxes, student loans, and child support – government-ordered debt. The federal government is saying, “We’ll forgive all debt you owe except for debt you owe to us.”  I would doubt any of your accounts receivable would qualify as that kind of debt.
                Chapter 13 is a consolidation of all debt into one payment. It includes all debt owed – even vehicles – except for your house payment if you are current. Otherwise the bankruptcy payment has to include that as well.
                Chapter 11 – I do not do Chapter 11s although the senior partner of our firm does once in a while – is similar to a Chapter 13 but it is for corporations or individuals who owe about $260,000.00 in unsecured debts.
                Corporations or LLCs cannot file Chapter 13. Only an individual or an individual doing business as can.

As a Creditor:
            You will receive notice in the mail that a customer/client/debtor has filed for bankruptcy in any of the available Chapters.
                At that time, all collection activity must cease. It’s called a “stay”. It’s automatic. Boom. No questions asked. Stop the collection. You might dispute the dischargeability of your debt, but that is an argument for another time. Right now, stop collecting it.
                To avoid anti-dun letters or even sanctions, contact your collection agency, department or individual in charge of trying to collect the debt and get it stopped. Press whatever button you need to press on your computer to stop that bill from being mailed out.
                You don’t have to write the bill off entirely – wait until you get the letter from the court discharging the debtor. If for some reason the bankruptcy is dismissed or the discharge is set aside, your debt is “revived” and you can go back to collecting it.
                A bankruptcy can be dismissed for several reasons – usually because the debtor has done something wrong.  He doesn’t qualify because he had filed before or his income is too high. He may have failed to appear in court or failed to provide the Court the documents required.
                You can dispute and fight someone’s discharge – if they wrote a bad check or if they committed fraud against you. It’s hard to do, and you should discuss the possibility with an attorney. And I don’t mean fraud in that someone left off a credit card on their application. I’m talking about if they said their income was double what it really was.
                But you will have to prove you had the wool pulled over your eyes to win. The first thing the court will ask is “did you pull a credit report? Was the missing credit card on there? Did you ask for paystubs? Didn’t you notice his income was substantially lower than what he said it was?”
                Here’s a tip – if he just got a loan from you five days before filing bankruptcy; unless there was a change of circumstances in between (he lost his job, his family went to the hospital), odds are he was insolvent when he got the loan and was considering filing bankruptcy when he was in your office.
                Sometimes if the Chapter 7 Trustee (this is the person in charge of investigating the facts of the case to make sure the person qualifies for the discharge of his or her debts) has an asset to sell you will be notified to file a claim.
                A Chapter 7 liquidation is not only the liquidation of debts but also liquidation of assets. If someone has a luxury item or property they do not need – a boat, a piece of land, a third car, expensive collections of coins or guns or comic books – those things can be liquidated and the cash from the sale will be disbursed to the creditors for one last payment. But to get any money, you have to fill in and file the claim form provided.
                It’s a simple form. Fill it in, mail it to the court, and send a copy to the Debtor’s attorney and you you’ll get a few bucks. You may have to file it electronically, which will mean a trip to the courthouse. Ask the clerks for help. That’s what they are there for.
                “It’s not worth the time and postage.” I don’t think that’s true, even if it only gives you a few dollars.  But I’m cheap that way…

                In Chapter 13, you will also be notified to file a claim. You will probably get substantially more than you would in a Chapter 7, so it is worth preparing the claim and sending it to the court and Debtors/counsel. It is possible after five years you will get a few dollars, if any at all. With the time-value of money it is easy to repeat, “It’s not worth the time and postage.” Five minutes to fill in the form, a stamp or a trip to the courthouse. If you complain about the gas spent, do something else during the trip to the courthouse. In my district the courthouse is next door to a wonderful city museum. See the radio DJ booth George Harrison visited in 1963.  See the jail cell of the last man hanged in Illinois – my grandfather was there and watched it.

                You should not send the Debtor a 1099 for the unpaid debt – a debt discharged in bankruptcy is not taxable income. It is not a forgiven debt. That IS a waste of time and postage.
                You can write it off as a loss. If you have insurance (most credit cards have bankruptcy insurance), you can submit a claim.
                The only thing you cannot do is try to collect the debt from a discharged debtor.

As an employer. 
                You’ll probably never know that your employee has filed a Chapter 7 unless his wages are being garnished.
                If an attorney knows what he is doing he will fax you a notice of the bankruptcy as soon as it is filed and ask you to stop withholding the funds. If you have already given the funds to the judgment creditor; that is nothing for you to worry about. If you are still holding funds and don’t know what to do about it – you can ask for a court order, you can call your attorney, the attorney for the creditor, the attorney for the debtor. “I’ll give this money to whoever the court tells me to…” Generally, though, if you stop the garnishment when you receive the notice of filing bankruptcy, you’ll be fine.
               
                An employer will receive notice if the employee does a Chapter 13.
                If you are employed the Chapter 13 payment comes directly out of your paycheck.
                The employer will be mailed a notice from the court to withhold a certain amount per month from this person’s paycheck. You should try to do it but if you simply cannot don’t worry about it. It is ultimately the responsibility of the Debtor to pay the Chapter 13 payment, not the employer.
                The withholding is an allotment, not a garnishment, so avoid assessing points against an employee or charging processing fees. You can do it, but … shame on you.  It would be best to simply not withhold it. If a Debtor’s attorney calls and asks why it isn’t being withheld, be honest: we don’t have the wherewithal to do that sort of thing; I don’t want to be responsible for any misplaced checks sent out, etc.
                If you do assess points or charge a fee the Debtor’s attorney will likely ask for direct payment and the court in this district is good about granting that. So, hey, maybe it IS a good idea to assess points or charge a fee, your employee will ask the court for direct pay and you’re out of it. No, don’t do that. It’s best just to contact the debtor’s attorney (and your employee) and tell them you just can’t withhold it.

                And remember – 525(B)(1) – (3) of the bankruptcy code says you cannot fire or discriminate against someone for filing bankruptcy.  Any employment attorney will tell you to keep a long paper trail when firing someone. You don’t want them to say, “You fired me because I filed bankruptcy,” any more than you want them to say, “You fired me because of the color of my skin or my religion or my gender.”
                “No, we fired you because you were late five days in a row or stole from us…” Keep a paper trail!
               
                And just as a favor to me – don’t blame the employee for collection calls. 
                “I get in trouble when I get personal calls at work.” I hear that a lot.
                “Then don’t take the call,” I say, “tell whoever is telling you that you have a call to hang up.”
                Boss:  “You have a call.”
                Employee: “You said I can’t take personal calls at work.”
                Boss: “That’s right.”
                Employee: “Then why are you telling me?  Tell them I can’t take calls. Yell at them the way you are yelling at me now.”
                It’s silly.  Imagine how easy it would be to get someone you don’t like fired. You just keep calling his work anonymously and after a week they’ll fire him for receiving personal calls. You can clear a factory floor in a few months.
                Don’t blame them for calls. They’re not the ones calling.

As a debtor
                Chapter 7 will eliminate the debts, but will also likely eliminate the business. People or corporations file Chapter 7 to walk away from their business. Let the Trustee dole out who owns what collateral and who gets what from the liquidated assets of the company. That way, it won’t be your fault if someone gets more than their fair share – you’ve dusted off your hands of the whole ordeal when you signed the paperwork.
                Chapter 13 (for non-corporations) or Chapter 11 (for corporations) – keeps the business going. You pay a trustee or an administrator; the trustee pays your creditors. It’s never that simple but that is the basics of it.
                You file a Chapter 7 to close the business; a Chapter 13 to keep it going.
                Results may vary.  In any of the three circumstances – if you have any questions, do some research and then ask an attorney. It’s worth paying an attorney for advice to avoid confusion and aggravation. As a creditor or employer you can always call the debtor’s attorney. They will USUALLY help answer your questions as long as you are courteous about it. You can always consult an attorney of your own.
                There are not many books out there about bankruptcy. The ones that do exist give only the most general and basic information. This is because a lot of bankruptcy law, although federal, depends also on the state laws in which the bankruptcy was filed. Plus it also depends on the individual trustee and judges. Some require specific documents, such as bank account statements; some do not. No book can cover every Trustee and judge’s rules and rulings. It’s like the old joke – a good attorney knows the law, a great attorney knows the judge. It’s true – in that a “great” attorney knows what will work and what will not. What works in Tennessee will not work in Missouri. What works in central Illinois will not work in southern Illinois. What works in Benton will not work in East St. Louis.
                The closest thing to a pamphlet is the 342(b) notice. That’s just the section of the code that says we have to give this paper to every debtor. It explains each type of bankruptcy, although it’s a little dry. You can each have a copy if you wish.
                I thank you for letting me speak with you today. I hope it informed you as a business owner of your rights and duties and responsibilities under the bankruptcy laws. Thank you for inviting me.
               
                And I hope you enjoyed reading it too. As a bit of a disclaimer – ALWAYS consult an attorney before attempting anything mentioned above. If you try to rely on the information above to file a bankruptcy alone or to try to fight a bankruptcy as a creditor, you are a very silly person and I will laugh at you if you blame me or this speech if something goes wrong …

Copyright 2013 Michael G Curry



Friday, August 23, 2013

Prose and Cons: A GenCon 2013 Report
Day Four: Goodbye Farewell and Amen
           

            I had nothing scheduled for Sunday. I wasn’t sure if we would even be there that day when I bought my tickets some months before. Bill had a ten o’clock RPG game he hoped would last only four hours. If we made the 2:40 bus, we would be home by 6:00 p.m. Otherwise it would be 8:00 or even later. Neither of us wanted that.
            So up at 5:30, breakfast at 6:00, in the van by 6:30, bus at 7:00, GenCon at 8:05.
            I took the now-familiar route to the three symposium rooms to see what was available. The ticket-taker was there – he explained that this morning was dedicated to paid, limited-to-eight-people-only sessions where the panelists reviewed and critiqued an attendees story. He said there were a few openings if I was willing.
            I brought some stories with me but left them in the van twenty miles away. I declined his generous offer.
            “Would you like a poster?” He offered me a poster signed by Brandon Sanderson showcasing his latest series “Steelheart” out next month. Brandon was one of the panelists and is known (among other things) was the writer who took over the Wheel of Time series after Robert Jordan’s death.
            Another poster was signed by James Dashner for his new book “The Eye of Minds”. He was also a panelist. His book “Mazerunner” will be released as a film next spring.         
            “I was given one of each of these Friday,” I said.  They gave out the posters after a symposium. “I’m going to donate it to my library.” It helped that I am married to the Assistant Head Librarian and have been driving and sharing a motel room with the Head Librarian all week…
            The ticket-taker smiled. “Would you like some more?”
            “Sure.”
            “I’m here until noon. Come by before then and I’ll give you all you want!”

            The Con held a non-denominational service at 9:00 that morning. I joked with Bill that I should go in and chant “Ai! Ai! Cthulhu fhtagn!”  He advised against it – if only because others at the service may join in.

            I stayed by the Exhibit Hall doors this final morning. I wanted to be amongst the throng entering at 10:00 a.m. If that damn free demo of the Lord of the Rings card game by Fantasy Flight Games was full again; I give up.
            Only one man sat at the LoTR table! Even the host hadn’t made it to the table yet. When he arrived the three of us played for a half hour. It’s possible to play the game solo but it is very hard to do. I’m glad I got to play with even one other player – and the host also played along so that made three. Fun game!

            I had another goal that day. Over the past three days I walked past a booth for McFarland Books. They publish non-fiction books about all kinds of pop culture. Business secrets of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. MST3K and the art of critique. The majority of their books are about baseball.
            “Tell us your book idea to one of our editors,” a sign said.
            I was intrigued and spent the night before perfecting my pitch.
            I spoke with one of their reps and my pitch made them laugh.  I mean in a good way – I’m sure I’ve made many an editor laugh, but this was intentional.
            I won’t tell you the idea because it is MINE! MINE!! But she encouraged me to check their website for their submissions guidelines and gave me the card of their acquisitions editor. I checked the web to research the company and it is up-and-up; not a vanity publisher but a legit paying one!
            I mentioned to her I wrote a memoir about adopting our daughter. She said they did publish a memoir last year about international adoption and I should send an inquiry about mine.
           
            At noon I returned to the symposium area. The ticket-taker gave me a box full of signed posters.
            “Brandon Sanderson signed all these?” I said. His signed posters outnumbered James Dashner’s 10-to-1.
            “Yes, I’m surprised he didn’t get writer’s cramp,” he said.
            “If he can write a thousand-page Wheel of Time book, he can sign a few hundred posters.”
            He laughed and gave me a huge and heavy cardboard box filled with signed posters.
            My wife can paper the library walls with them, give them to other libraries in the system and hand them out at the ILA convention in Chicago in October.
            The ticket-taker smiled and thanked me. He gave me his card.
            Um…
            The ticket-taker was Marc Tassin. He is an editor and author. His website is www.marctassin.com.  He called himself the GenCon Literary Coordinator.  Much more impressive title than ticket-taker I admit…
            Marc Tassin.  He has a story in the anthology “Steampunk’d”.
            It’s sitting on my night stand.    

            The writing panels were finished by noon. Let me tell you about some of the panelists … those whose names I remembered to jot down, that is …

            Maxwell Anthony Drake (www.maxwellanthonydrake.com) soloed two panels I attended. He is an excellent teacher and his presentations are on his website. I never got to thank him personally for his excellent classes. The best I can do it hype his new series of books at www.GenesisOfOblivion.com.  There you can read the first five Chapters for free. He has planned (so far) three books on the saga and also has two novellas set in the same world. He was also one of the panelists in the Sunday critiquing sessions. I wish I had brought my backpack with my sample fiction that morning!
            Geoffrey Girard (http://www.geoffreygirard.com) was on the horror panel. His latest book is called “Cain’s Blood”.  He is also releasing a YA version (or companion) to the book called Project Cain.  Two versions of the same book released at the same time … wowsers.
             Kerrie Hughes.  She was on several panels, including the my first one. I saw her in the convention hallway but disappeared amongst the throng before I could thank her. I doubt she was avoiding me personally… Follow her on Twitter: https://twitter.com/kerrielhughes.
            Scott Lynch (http://www.scottlynch.us/) was also on that very first panel and on several others. Check out the website – impressive body of work. As with most of the panelists, I never got to thank him for being a speaker for the weekend. His knowledge of the craft was impressive!
            Gregory Wilson (http://www.gregoryawilson.com/) was another panelist I didn’t get to thank. I’m sounding redundant, but another impressive writer who thankfully shared his thoughts and opinions on how to improve your skills.
            I recognized Richard Lee Byers’ name as soon as he placed his name card on the panel’s table. He has several Forgotten Realms novels under his belt. His Wikipedia page is here:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Lee_Byers.  I spotted him in the Exhibit Hall and spoke to him for several minutes. We talked about the knack of writing short stories vs. novel-length stories. Some people just can’t tell a story in 7,000 words; I’m one of them!
            There were so many more panelists whose names are lost to me. I didn’t start writing down names until after the first day and I apologize to everyone I did not list. You deserve to be listed here too.

            While lugging the ever-more-heavy box of posters around the Exhibit Hall, I walked through Author’s Alley and spoke with a few. There were two that intrigued me enough to talk with them for some minutes…
            I met Amanda G. McGuire (www.aghowl.wordpress.com) at her booth. She was there for her series “The God of Death; A Jesse Skull Novel”.  She described it as piracy in a post-apocalyptic world. Sounds cool.
            J T Hartke shared a booth with Maxwell Alexander Drake. You can read the first four chapters of his new book at www.DragonsoulSaga.com.   I talked with him for several minutes about his work. Nice guy!

            I ate lunch and took more cosplay photos all while struggling with a disintegrating cardboard box. My back and legs will get their revenge tonight, cramping as I try to sleep.
            Today was children’s day and there were more kids attending and cosplaying than on the three previous days. By early afternoon yesterday I missed my wife and daughter almost to the point of triggering depression. It was the longest I had been away from either of my babies and I yearned for them terribly.
            I almost offered a few parents my last twenty to have their kids hug me and call me daddy. But it wasn’t worth the felony charge. As much as I loved GenCon, I don’t want to be gone from them that long again.
            About 1:15 I found Bill still gaming in a ballroom of the Mariott next door. I sat on a very comfortable chair and read my book. At 1:50 he came out – his game was done. And so were we. Back to the food court to await our 2:40 shuttle to the van and then home.
            Mercedes Lackey and three others from the writing panels came down the escalators from the Mariott and walked into the D&D playing hall. I caught up with her and asked for a photograph. She was happy to pose with me.
            She was on two panels in the writer’s sessions, but those were packed full of fellow fans and writers. I didn’t get the chance then to thank her; I did now…
            She also autographed three book plates for me. The five of us talked about the writer’s panels and how much I enjoyed and learned from them. They encouraged me to email the Con with my praise. I certainly shall.
            Time was becoming my enemy. It was getting dangerously close to 2:40.  What was I going to say to Mercedes Lackey? “Sorry, Ms. Lackey, wrap this up, I gotta go…”
            Even from the little I got to know her, if I explained the situation, she would have sympathized and let me go.
            But I didn’t need to worry. I shook hands with all of them and raced back to Bill’s table. We made the bus…
            …and pulled into my driveway at 6:00.

            And the evening and the morning were the fourth day…

Copyright 2013 Michael G Curry


Thursday, August 22, 2013

Prose and Cons: A GenCon 2013 Report
Day Three: Settling In

            On Saturday, my first writing seminar didn’t begin until ten. I hoped to sleep in, but my ride to the bus pick-up left at 6:30, so another early day.
            We had a new bus driver – Vern took his granddaughter to a car show in McHenry, IL if you must know – and we fellow-travelers helped the new driver with his route.
            One early bird sitting behind me told us about his lucky day yesterday – he won a raffle to sit with “Star Trek TNG”/“Stand By Me” star Wil Wheaton in a charity game he hosted. Wil was there not as a guest but to host a charity gaming event.
            I told him to tell Wil I said “hello”. He won’t remember me, but I represented Wil in a lawsuit against a convention promoter who didn’t pay him. I mostly spoke with his mother/manager – this was in the very early 1990s – but I did represent him.
            I had two hours to kill before my first seminar. I walked to the rooms holding the symposiums to see if there were any subjects that interested me – there weren’t.
            The ticket-taker of the past two days was not there. He was either on break or couldn’t be there that morning. In his place was the bankruptcy attorney-writer I met yesterday - Elizabeth Vaughn.  She was the gate-keeper/time-keeper/attendee-herder for the early morning.
            Since she was between symposiums I spoke with her about successfully juggling writing and work – since we did the same kind of work – and how our area of the law, with its strict structure, helps and hurts genre writing. Sometimes you want to write fluidly and sometimes very plot-heavy. After a day of Slot-A-never-ever-fits-into-Slot-B style of lawyering, it’s nice to free-form with magical elves and beastly trolls.
            I spent the early morning taking photos of cosplayers. That’s the term for people who dress up at cons. “Who is he supposed to be?” I said a few times. Some cosplayers dressed in a certain style rather than a specific character (manga, steampunk and zombies as opposed to a comic book, movie and TV characters). 
            A sampling: 


Winner, Most Comfortable Costume...


                                             
                                               

 





Boy, I hope they won something!




           
         





















             My symposiums were at ten and noon. After that the day was mine until seven. At 7:00 I would attend a reading by Mercedes Lackey and Larry Dixon.
            When my writing panels were done I went back to the Exhibit Hall.
            The free demo of the Lord of the Rings card game by Fantasy Flight Games was full again and again. I kept missing the chance to jump in!
            Remember the book I won at a symposium the day before?  It was “Master of Devils” by Dave Gross. That afternoon Dave was at the Pathfinder booth signing copies of the book.
            I unloaded yesterday’s back-breaking booty into my large suitcase the night before. My backpack now contained only my notepad, pens, some of my stories, books and snacks for the day. It was comfortably lighter.
            “Dave, I won your book at a writer’s symposium yesterday, would you sign it?”
            “Sure,” he said.
            “I’m sorry I can’t gush about how wonderful the book is but I only got it yesterday!  I haven’t even opened it!”
            He laughed, signed the book and said that was perfectly fine. I thanked him and introduced myself to the other authors not engaged with other fans. I told them how much I enjoyed their self-contained novels.

            I stopped past Dan the Bard’s booth and he was there. I introduced myself as Jess’ brother-in-law and we talked about other Ren Fest performers we knew – I was sad to learn one couple had broken up.  He asked if I wanted to hear a tune. I asked him to play “My Work Doth Bite the Devil’s Bum.”  He had a nice crowd around him when I left.
           
            By two o’clock I had enough. I was weary. Bill called it Convention Crud.  I went up the stairs to the ticket-taker and gave him my 7:00 pm ticket to the Mercedes Lackey/Larry Dixon reading (there was no cost, but you needed a ticket) and said I was unable to make it and he could give it to a deserving fan.  He thanked me. “You could scalp that for a couple of grand…” I said.
            I called Bill and told him I would head to the Wal-Mart drop-off and take his van to the motel. When he was done that night, he can call me and I would meet him there. He said that was fine.
            The bus left at 2:40 and I was at the van by 3:00.
            My key was in my tan pants pocket. Those pants, however, were in my suitcase in the motel.
            I took another taxi ride to the motel (so much for saving money on parking). I walked across the highway to a Mexican restaurant. And by this I mean a restaurant for Mexicans. I love it; honest-to-god-Mexican food.
            I decided against the goat tacos and went with the chorizo tacos instead. I ordered the chicken with cream. Well, I tried to…
            “Arroz con pollo y crema…”
            “What are you trying to order, senior?”
            “Arroz con …”
            “You can point to it.”
            “Uh, that.”
            “Gracias.”
            I exaggerate; the waitress was very nice. But I thought my Spanish was better than that…
            When I left I told her how good the creamy sauce was. The extra hot sauce provided in a separate small metal bowl made the tacos especially yummy, too!
            Saturday night I re-arranged my booty – all the books in my backpack and clothes that I wouldn’t need Sunday in my suitcase. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening catching up on Facebook, preparing my notes for my blog, outlining some story ideas and going to bed early for a change.
            And the evening and the morning were the third day…


Copyright 2013 Michael G Curry

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Prose and Cons: A GenCon 2013 Report
Day Two: Friends of Friends


            The second day of my first GenCon started like the first: up at 5:30 (4:30 my time), big breakfast at the motel, to the bus at 7:00, chatted with Vern the driver and our few fellow travelers, jump off the bus at 8:03, ran to Room 245 for my 8:00 session and apologized to the ticket-taker for being late. Again, he said it was fine, smiled and let me go into the panel discussion already in progress.
            I was at the con for the writing seminars and symposiums. Friday, today, was a lighter load compared to Thursday’s all-day marathon.  I had seminars at eight, noon and four, five and six.
            The 8:00 panel was on the Business of Writing – taxes, websites, Twitter and Facebook pages, agents, etc. One of the panelists was writer Elizabeth Vaughan (www.eavwrites.com).  In the course of the panel she said she was a bankruptcy attorney.
            …
            What?
            Have you ever run into a coworker at a grocery store? Or has a church member or other group walk in front of you while waiting at the drive-through at McDonalds?      Who are you and how do I know you? Oh, you’re not where I am used to seeing you. A judge and I like to eat at a local restaurant with our families. It’s unsettling seeing him in shorts. He probably thinks the same of me…
            Did she just say she was a bankruptcy attorney? I was too busy taking notes; I must have heard that wrong.
            But no, she repeated it.
            At the end of every session the panelists handed out five paperback novels (“prizes”). One person at the noon session gave hers back because she already won the same book yesterday. I leave as they announce the winners – as I usually have no luck at such things. This gets me to the door by the time they are finished and back in line quickly to re-enter the room for the next session.
            But this time I walked to the panel table. There were the usual well-wishers and follow-up questions. I was the last one in line to talk to Elizabeth.
            “Did you say you were a bankruptcy attorney?”
            “Yes.”
            “I am too!”
            Oh, she laughed as I asked, “Where do you practice?”
            “I’m the Chapter 13 Trustee staff attorney for the Northern District of Ohio. Toledo.  Where do you practice,” she said.
            “Southern District of Illinois.”
            “Then you must know Tony Wiese (a pseudonym for the Chapter 13 Trustee staff attorney).”
            “Tony and I went to law school together. We’ve been good friends since 1989.” (Despite the pseudonym, it WAS true - I only changed the name to protect the innocent...).
            Small world! And she looked familiar, too. Had she ever spoken at a NACBA (the National Association of Consumer Bankruptcy Attorneys) conferences? No, she hates speaking in front of huge crowds – these panels were more her speed. “It’s not really that much different,” I said.
             I’ve spoken at conferences. Not the thousands of a NACBA convention, but around a thousand at small attorney conferences.
            The room was to be cleared for the next session and Elizabeth moved away from the table. “It’s so wonderful meeting you,” I said. “It’s nice to know you’ve cut a path for bankruptcy attorneys. I hope it’s not a case of ‘we’ve only got room for one bankruptcy attorney in the market…’.”
            She laughed and assured me that was not the case. I thanked her for her time and she told me to say hello to Tony.
            Wow.
            My first encounter with a professional writer, other than standing in line waiting to lavish praise and have a book signed.  It thrilled me. And relieved me.
            Attorneys become writers. John Grisham and Scott Turow are at the top of the list. But a bankruptcy attorney (she had a private practice and was a Chapter 7 Trustee before her current position) who does – present tense – what I do. Exactly what I do. And she has found time to make a second career as a writer. My heart lifted and I was so encouraged walking to the escalator to spend the rest of the morning in the Exhibit Hall.
            Wow.

            This was my first time in the Exhibit Hall where I wasn’t watching the clock. Yesterday I had two one-hour gaps. Now I am free for three hours.
            I walked past the tables of Fantasy Flight Games where hosts gave one-hour demos of their board and card games. The “Lord of the Rings” table was full and in session.
            Another table just started a session of “Letters from Whitechapel.” The host asked if I was interested, since I was watching the table.
            “Oh yes, thank you!” I had the game at home (being something of a Ripper-ologist) and read through the rules but had never played. Two others joined us – the host had to explain the rules for a fourth time but seemed not to mind.
            It’s a complicated version of Battleship. The host plays Jack the Ripper and moves about the game board - a map of Whitechapel, England. He moves along the map on 100 or so numbered dots at three moves per term. We the players have to guess which dot he is on and arrest him.  If he makes it back to his home dot (selected at the beginning of the game – the players do not know the number), he wins that day. If he wins five days in a row, the players lose.
            In the meantime the fiend is killing prostitutes! Prostitutes are markers on the board. He kills one on, say, Dot #75. He makes it home in five turns, so he MUST be within fifteen dots of 75.  The next day he kills a prostitute on Dot #18.  So when he heads home we know it is near 75 (he has fifteen rounds to get home or players win). If a player crosses a space the Ripper moved through, the host places a yellow disk on the space. This way we can trace and track the Ripper’s movements.
            Complicated? Oh yes. Fun? Oh yes yes!!

            I found Chaosium’s kiosk. Chaosium is a role-playing game company that publishes (among others games) “Call of Cthulhu” – one of my favorite RPGs. The salesmen were nice and courteous, but busy. They didn’t have much time for me to gush at how much I loved their RPGs. Perhaps I expected the crew to be creepier, I suppose, haha. Didn’t stop me from buying a few books of course…

            Yesterday I spotted a banner for a kiosk that sold books on clearance. It had a very thorough collection of RPGs - all 50% off. One row of books proclaimed “Buy 1, Get 3 Free”. I looked at some of the selections and doubted I could find one book, let alone three more. There was a complete collection of Mystic Eye Games RPGs. Of course I have all those.
            At the bottom of the first shelf, in the “C”s, I found the payload. Here were more Call of Cthulhu books. Kneeling to avoid tripping the throng around me, and with my kneecaps filling with fluid, I found four books.
            Another kiosk was an independent publisher that released two Cthulhu-World War II scenarios. You could buy the modules that used the “Call of Cthulhu” rules or another companies’ rules. I bought the CoC books.
            Sense a theme here?

            By now my backpack was quite heavy! 
            I passed the autograph kiosk and there were Peter Davidson and Walter Koenig and two others. The line was longer than the day before, but manageable. My original plan was to get their autographs today when there was more time. I was lucky enough to take care of that the day before.
            I flashed back to Wizard Con earlier in St. Louis, where an over- one-hour wait to get a guest’s autograph was common.
            No so here.
            I wonder why?  There were more people here, but the focus at GenCon wasn’t necessarily on guest autographs (that seemed the chief Con money-maker at Wizard Con).  As I mentioned in a previous blog – perhaps Wizard Con will be better organized at its second St. Louis convention.

            I passed the musician kiosks. Musicians can make money creating original soundtracks for gamers! Renaissance-esque songs for your medieval or fantasy-based RPG or LARP (live action role playing), heavy metal for your cyberpunk game, etc.; all can be commissioned.
            One booth hosted Dan the Bard, ie Dan Marcotte. He was not there, but his assistant told me about his commission work. I looked at his CDs. One caught my eye. Hey, I own this one! My brother-in-law gave it to me. He performs as Jesse Linder or Jock Stewart at Ren Fests all over the country.
            Dan the Bard sold mostly CDs at his booth, but he had a compilation DVD of various Renfest performers with photos of the contributors …
            …and there was Jess’ picture!  “There’s Jesse Linder,” I said to the assistant, “that’s my brother-in-law!”
            What a sweet surprise seeing a photo of my brother-in-law on a DVD on sale at GenCon! I was tickled for a second time that day!
            Oh, and here is Jess’ website: http://www.3pintsgone.com.  He plays guitar and sings in a group called 3 Pints Gone.  Look at the website. Buy something. Go see them.  

            I strolled through the Exhibit Hall after my noon writing panel and passed the Paizo Games area. They release other games, but Pathfinder RPG is their bread and butter. A crowd gathered around a long table stacked with paperback books. I saw a few copies of “Death’s Heretic” by James L Sutter.
            “Oh,” I thought, “there’s the paperback I brought with me to read.  Oh, and there’s James L. Sutter signing copies.”         
            I introduced myself and he asked if I read the book.
            “Yes, I’m enjoying it so far. In fact I brought a copy of it to read at the con! Would you sign my copy?” I reached into my heavy backpack for my paperback copy.  I read it earlier that morning while waiting for my noon symposium!
            He was proud that I brought his book for my casual reading!

            That afternoon I lurked at Fantasy Flight’s “Lord of the Rings” card game demo table. The four players (the maximum for the demo) were in the middle of a game.  An hour later I went back. It was filled with new players. An hour later, yep, new players. I kept missing my chance to jump in.

            By now I was grabbing anything free a kiosk was giving out – magnets, pins, cards with websites that leads you to samples of books and RPG rules. I think at the end the weight of my backpack cracked my clavicle.  Just kidding.  Close, but kidding.
           
            I ended the day with three seminars. I left the 4:00 session to get in line for the 5:00.  I made it to the door when they called my name! I won a book! Woot!  I went back to the panel table to pick up “Master of Devils” by Dave Gross.
            The line to get into the 5:00 session stretched to the elevator! There were over a hundred people in line by now. It was the only session where every seat was taken. After the casualness of all the previous sessions, this one was cramped and hot.
            Why?
            Mercedes Lackey and Larry Dixon were on the panel. The couple has written almost 100 books. They are legends in the fantasy genre.
            They were both very friendly, willing to share their experiences and knowledge and gave great advice.
            Larry Dixon had the most memorable line of the symposium.  Question: “Can you have good storytelling with no plot?”
            “Three words: ‘Previously, on Lost’.”

            At Wizard Con I was pleased to run into my sister, her husband and my nephew. At Gen Con I was pleased to have dinner with my other sister, my nephew and my niece. I called them at the end of my last session. They were already at the convention center watching the cosplayers after spending the afternoon in Indianapolis. We met and spent the next two hours at a downtown Italian restaurant.
            We talked and gossiped. I hope my niece and nephew enjoyed the evening with their foul-mouthed uncle.
            It was a wonderful meal with wonderful company. 
            They drove me to my motel. This time it was Bill’s turn to be fast asleep as I came in late.
            And the evening and the morning were the second day…

Copyright 2013 Michael G Curry